


Or How The Squad Found Out

by electrictoes



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-16 00:08:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29198127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/electrictoes/pseuds/electrictoes
Summary: How the squad found out or How Amanda and Sonny suck at keeping their relationship a secret.
Relationships: Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr./Amanda Rollins, Rafael Barba/Olivia Benson (Implied)
Comments: 22
Kudos: 97





	Or How The Squad Found Out

**Author's Note:**

> This started as a conversation between [son_heir](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Son_heir/pseuds/Son_heir) and I about scenes we’d like to see in canon and kind of spiralled from there.
> 
> I included Barba as part of the squad for no other reason than I wanted to.

**Fin**

Amanda jolted awake at the sound of someone hammering on her apartment door. Sonny was only half a second behind her as she climbed out of bed, instinctively reaching for her gun before remembering it was safely stowed away in the gun safe – she reached to pick up a lamp, turning to see Sonny already on his feet and heading for the door, no makeshift weapon in hand. They both froze when they heard Fin’s voice coming across the apartment. “Hey Rollins – open up!”

They shared a look – a silent conversation. Amanda moved away from the lamp, gestured for Sonny to remain where he was, and walked out into her darkened apartment. She flicked on a light as she made her way to the front door, opening it to let Fin in.

“What the hell, Fin? It’s 1am. The girls are asleep.”

“I know – sorry. I’ve been calling, you didn’t pick up.”

“What’s going on?”

“Fisher from the DA’s office got jumped going to his car after work – he was roughed up pretty bad. Then there was a 911 call from Hadid’s apartment– she got back and found her fiancé lying on the floor - he’s at Mercy now with some pretty nasty blunt force trauma to the back of his head. Bureau Chief and an ADA in one night – rang some alarm bells. They started calling around the other ADAs –called me when they couldn’t get hold of Carisi. I headed to his place; woke up the super to get the door open but he’s not there. Doesn’t look like he’s been home.”

“He’s probably on a date or something, Fin. No need to panic.”

“Maybe, but I’m not waiting around to find Carisi passed out or worse in the morning.”

“Just because he’s not home doesn’t mean there’s anything to worry about. He might be with a girl; or maybe he’s visiting his family for the weekend.”

Fin frowned at her. “Why aren’t you more concerned?”

“What?”

“This is Carisi we’re talking about – boy gets a papercut and you worry yourself half to death-”

“That’s not true.” She crossed her arms over her chest, feeling defensive.

“- and now someone might be targeting the DA’s office and you’re not even breaking a sweat.”

“He’s fine, Fin.”

“Oh you know that for sure do you?”

“Yes.” She sighed, rolling her eyes. “This stays between us,” she turned away from him, walking back across the apartment and opening the bedroom door wide enough to call through, “Carisi get your butt out here before Fin has a heart attack.”

Sonny emerged almost instantly – he must have been standing by the door, listening to what was happening. Fin took in his appearance – his sleep mussed hair, the old t-shirt and sweatpants he had on, the way he’d emerged from Amanda’s bedroom as though he belonged there. “Mornin’ Fin.”

“Damn,” Fin barked a laugh. “I’ve been busting a gut worrying about you and the whole time you’ve been holed up in Rollins’ bed?”

Carisi rubbed the back of his head, his eyes not meeting Fin’s. “Uh, sorry?”

“You could pick up your phone once in a while, you know that?”

“I must’ve left it out here when we… went to bed.” He gestured to the coffee table where his phone lay abandoned, Amanda’s beside it. Once the girls were asleep and she’d shut off the TV, tugging him towards the bedroom with a promise in her eyes, they hadn’t spared a moment to think about someone trying to get hold of them during the night.

“You two are gonna be the death of me, you know that? I better call Liv, let her know you’re alive.”

“Fin, wait.”

“Don’t worry, lover boy, I’m not gonna rat you out.”

Amanda walked over to Sonny and placed a hand on his arm as Fin called Liv, an eyebrow raised pointedly at them.

“Hi Captain, yeah, I’ve got him. Passed out on Rollins’ couch watchin’ junk TV.”

**Kat**

Another day, another seedy low life picking up college girls and throwing them in the back of a van. Fin had called Sonny over to the station whilst Amanda and Kat were out picking up their prime suspect, Gregory Harper, a barman at the nightclub linked to the most recent assault. Sonny sat himself at Amanda’s desk waiting for them to get back. He smiled at the photos of Jesse and Billie on Amanda’s desk - photos he had taken at the park a couple of weeks ago, Billie laughing up at him, Jesse pulling a goofy face.

He looked up when he heard a commotion by the elevators. Kat and Amanda were back, a uniform cop just ahead of them leading in the perp, his hands in cuffs and the officer’s hand on his shoulder.

As the officer led Harper towards the interview rooms Sonny got his first glance of Amanda, and he was on his feet immediately at the sight of her face; there was a bruise blossoming on her right cheek, a cut on her lip, blood pooling at the side of her mouth.

“I’m fine,” Amanda said before he could speak, “It’s fine.”

“Amanda, your face-” he lifted a hand up to touch her bruise, but stopped himself when he saw Kat’s eyes on him.

“I’m okay, he caught me by surprise that’s all.”

“That son of a-”

“I’ll live, Carisi,” she touched his arm briefly before stepping away. “Let’s just nail this guy.”

He paced outside the interview room, watching through the glass as Fin and Amanda interviewed Harper. Amanda had refused to get checked out, and had insisted on being the one to question him. He was smug and kept looking at Amanda’s face like he was proud of the injuries he’d put there. Sonny felt Kat’s eyes him as she stood to one side.

“Rollins can take care of herself, you know that right?”

“Oh trust me, I’m well aware.”

“Then why are you so antsy?”

Sonny stopped his pacing and looked through the glass as Fin questioned Harper. “Just because she can handle herself doesn’t mean I’ve gotta be okay with someone laying hands on her.”

“Alright, counsellor.” Kat said. She turned away from him to watch the interview.

Harper’s primary mode of defence was to try to deflect attention from himself – telling them that there were other men doing far worse out of the club, and offering to name names. Fin and Amanda didn’t get to question him for long before he invoked, clearly hoping to leverage a deal.

The lawyer that was sent over wasn’t someone Sonny had dealt with before – he was relatively young but he seemed to know his stuff.

“All you’ve got is some grainy CCTV footage that shows my client touching the girl – you don’t have the van, you don’t have any DNA evidence. My client is offering you a list of names of some very bad people, people trafficking young girls. Do you really want to hang him and let those gentlemen go free? I think now is the time for a deal.”

Sonny frowned. There were bigger fish to fry here, but this guy was under his skin and he didn’t want to give him an easy road out. “Rape 3.”

The lawyer scoffed. “Your case is shaky at best; we’ll plead to forcible touching.”

“Really? He gets off with a slap on the wrist and community service? No way. That girl is traumatised.”

“And you can’t prove my client did the traumatising. Sexual misconduct. Mr Harper provides the names of the men who frequent the club, and we agree to one year’s jail time.”

“Plus an additional 1 to 15 for assaulting a police officer.”

Harper scowled. “That bitch deserved it.”

“You-” He cut himself off; Detective Carisi could finish that sentence, ADA Carisi wasn’t so free. He swallowed before speaking. “Thanks for the confession; makes this nice and easy.”

“You aren’t seriously lumping assault charges on top of this, Counsellor? You’re reaching.”

“That bruise on Detective Rollins’ face says otherwise.” His eyes flicked up to the mirrored window, where he knew Amanda was watching. “Assuming Mr Harper’s allegations can be substantiated - sexual misconduct, assaulting a police officer, and let’s throw in resisting arrest for good measure. Three years, and he goes on the register.”

“We’re not taking that deal.”

“Fine. I’ll see you in court, and I’ll try for Rape 3, the assault on Detective Rollins, and we’ll see who else is going to start talking.” He lifted the files from the table in front him and walked towards the door.

He was almost out of the room when Harper called out. “Wait a minute! I’m not waiting for someone else to throw me under the bus here.”

“I’d like a moment alone with my client, if you don’t mind.”

“Sure.”

-

Sonny caught up to Amanda later in the break room, and this time didn’t stop his hand from tracing the bruises. She smiled softly up at him.

“Harper’s lawyer take the deal yet?”

“Yeah, Liv and Fin are with him now and he’s singing like a canary.”

“You didn’t need to push for the assault charge.”

“Like hell I didn’t,” he breathed out his anger and lifted his hand to her cheek again. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah,” Amanda took hold of his wrist, drawing his hand away from her face and threading their fingers together. “Hurts a bit but it was worth it.”

“I’m not so sure.”

“Sonny, I’m fine, don’t make a fuss.”

“Can I at least kiss it better?”

“Yeah, alright.” He leaned in, pressing his lips gently to the bruise, then again to the split in her lip. She winced a little at the pressure and he drew back, just as he heard Kat’s voice behind him.

“Don’t mind me,” she said, “I’m just getting a drink.”

“Kat!” Amanda said, “It’s not what it looks like-”

“Looks like I was right about the two of you,” she said with a shrug, backing out of the door with a soda in hand.

Amanda dropped her head forward to press against Sonny’s chest with a light groan.

“Could’ve been worse,” Sonny said. “Coulda been Liv - or Garland.”

Amanda lifted her head and swatted at his shoulder lightly. “Don’t joke about that. I better to talk to her.”

“I’ll go,” he glanced over his shoulder to check they were alone before pressing a kiss to her unharmed cheek. “You need to get some ice for that bruise.”

Kat was sat at her desk and cocked an eyebrow at him as he approached. He kept his voice low, “What just happened...”

“Stays between us?” Kat asked.

“Yeah, thanks.”

“No problem.” She nodded and looked up at him. “Not sure why you’re keeping it on the down low, but...”

“The thing is, Rollins is not so comfortable sharing her private life, and she doesn’t want to tell everyone ‘til she’s sure. Filing disclosure paperwork, making it all official with labels and everythin’, she’s not ready yet.”

Kat frowned at him. “And you’re okay with that?”

“For her? Sure.”

**Liv**

It was girls’ night. The first one in what felt like forever. For the longest time it hadn’t really been “girls’ night”, but just Amanda and Liv and a bottle of wine (or two); but now there was Kat, and they’d been wanting to get know Phoebe better too, so there the four of them were – at Liv’s apartment, while Carisi was supervising a squad sleepover for Noah, Jesse and Billie at Amanda’s - Liv hadn’t so much as blinked when Carisi offered to take Noah for the night, since he was “hanging out Jesse and Billie anyway”.

They’d been having a nice evening – drinks, pizza, good company – and Amanda had missed this, spending time with other adults; her friends. drinking, talking, laughing.

That didn’t stop her mind drifting home; to her girls, to Sonny. She sent him a text – just to check in, and smiled when he responded seconds later.

_Amanda: Everything ok?_

_Sonny: Kids are asleep enjoy ladies’ night!_

_Amanda: They go down alright?_

_Sonny: Yeah top to toe._

He followed his text up with a photo of Noah and Jesse asleep at either end of her bed.

_Amanda: Cute what are you doing now?_

_Sonny: Watching TV. Quit texting me._

_Amanda: Quit texting back_

“Who are you talking to?”

“Huh?”

“You’re smiling at your phone.”

“It’s nothing, it’s just Carisi. He sent a picture of Jesse and Noah asleep.” She scrolled back up to the picture then turned her phone to show Liv, who smiled down at the image.

“Sound asleep already; Carisi’s not bad at this babysitting thing.”

“Is it babysitting if he practically lives at your apartment anyway?” Kat asked, smiling over the rim of her glass. Amanda laughed but didn’t answer.

Another bottle of wine later, conversation had drifted to Phoebe and Fin’s wedding; their upcoming engagement party, and the plans they’d started putting in place for the big day.

“Sounds like it’s keeping you busy,” Amanda said

“You ever think about getting married, Amanda?”

“Not really. My parents’ relationship was a shit show, wasn’t exactly an advertisement for marriage for me growing up,” Amanda caught herself and gave Phoebe what she hoped was a reassuring smile, “Not that I think it’ll be like that for you and Fin. He’s a good guy.”

“Sonny’s a good guy too,” Phoebe smiled.

“Not sure what that’s got to do with anything.”

“Oh, sorry, I thought the two of you were….”

“Me and Carisi? No, no, we’re just friends.”

Kat caught her eye and smirked. “You telling us you haven’t even thought about it?”

“About what?”

“You and Carisi, you know. He’s not a bad looking guy…”

Amanda shot a glare at Kat, hoping she’d drop it.

Liv smiled at her, “I don’t think anyone would blame you if you had, Amanda. We’ve all seen the way he looks at you.”

“What?” Amanda said sharply, she felt her cheeks heating up, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Okay,” Liv held up a hand. “We’ve either had too much wine or not enough for this conversation.”

Liv carefully steered the conversation away from both weddings and Amanda’s love life, and the night progressed without further mention of either; the wine continued to flow and they talked about more casual things – Kat’s latest fling, Noah’s dance classes, shows they’d been binging lately – and Amanda began to relax, sure she’d dodged that bullet. At least until Phoebe and Kat had both left, and Amanda helping Liv to tidy up.

“So,” Liv said, as they were clearing up the wine glasses and the empty bottles. “You and Sonny?”

“What about us?”

“You were getting pretty defensive earlier, and you don’t have to talk about it, but if you want to, I’m here.” Liv put the empty wine glasses in the sink and turned to look at Amanda – she was smiling encouragingly, in that open _you can tell me anything_ way that Liv had.

Amanda frowned, standing opposite Liv. “I… what do you think is happening here?”

“You tell me. I know the two of you are close, and I know what it’s like, sitting with those feelings.”

Amanda paused for a moment before responding. They hadn’t told Liv yet, partly because she was Amanda’s boss and that would make it official - they’d have to start thinking about disclosure forms, and higher ups wondering if would affect their ability to do their jobs - but there was another reason Amanda had been holding back – fear, of being judged, of not being deemed worthy of Sonny. But Liv was her friend, and she cared about them both; they were practically family and if Amanda was going to share this secret with anyone it should be Liv. “We’re not.”

“What?”

“We’re not sitting with our feelings… we’re - what Kat said earlier - about Carisi practically living at my place. I don’t remember the last time he slept at his own apartment.”

“So, the two of you are…”

“Yes.”

Liv smiled. “How long?”

“A few months."

“Well, I’d like to say I’m a good enough detective that I noticed a change, but… the way the two of you have been over the past few years, I’m not sure anyone would’ve seen a difference.”

“We were going to tell you… we just wanted some time, without everyone knowing. To see how things went.”

Liv moved back to the living room, sitting down on the couch. She waited for Amanda to join her before she spoke, leaning in a little. “And how are things going?”

Amanda felt a small thrill at being able to share this with someone, to talk about Sonny without holding back. “So good. I wish we hadn’t waited this long… I guess part of me felt like I didn’t deserve him, but he’s always there, always has been. And now that we are… we haven’t put a label on it, but we’re together, and I just feel so lucky, you know?”

**Barba**

Fin and Phoebe’s belated engagement party was in full swing – half the department seemed to be there, all of SVU and Vice, but also a whole host of cops from other departments, and a few of their former colleagues – faces Sonny knew and a fair few that he didn’t.

He was perched on a bar stool, Amanda by his side. They were both just the right side of drunk; feeling the effects of the alcohol but still very much in control of their faculties. Sonny was struggling, however, to keep his eyes from straying over to Amanda; the dress she was wearing was all kinds of flattering, and since they’d decided to get their act together during a global pandemic, they hadn’t had many opportunities for fancy dates yet. He leaned over to whisper in Amanda’s ear, “You look amazing.”

She turned, her cheeks a little flushed. “You clean up pretty well yourself,” she said, voice low. “I’m kind of regretting not booking a room upstairs.”

Sonny glanced across the table; they were sitting with Liv, Kat, and Barba; Fin and Phoebe were doing the rounds amongst their family and friends. The atmosphere was warm, and a little romantic, and under the table Amanda’s hand found his. Her skin was warm in his as he rubbed his thumb across the back of her hand. Kat raised an eyebrow at him, noting their hands, but she said nothing as she went to the bar for another round.

They made it through another hour of sitting just a little too close together, their legs pressed next to each other, their fingers entwined out of sight, before Amanda pulled away and stood up. “I’m going to the bathroom,” she announced to the table, and squeezed his shoulder on the way past.

“That’s a good idea, actually,” Sonny said, standing up himself. Neither Liv or Kat were fooled in the least when he followed the path Amanda had cut across the bar.

She was waiting for him just out of sight of their table, and she took his hand in hers. “I couldn’t stand just sitting there anymore,” she said, as she led him around another corner.

They found an empty corridor, off to one side on the way to the bathrooms, and came together almost immediately – their lips fused. Amanda’s hands were in his hair as he wrapped his arms around her waist, drawing her into him, feeling the warmth of her skin, the rush he got as their bodies pressed together.

A sharp cough interrupted them, drawing them apart. Barba stood a few feet away, one arched eyebrow inclined towards them.

“Uh, Rafael, hi-”

“I see you two have finally pulled your heads out of-”

“I could say the same about you and Liv,” Amanda cut in, surprising Sonny, who turned back towards her with his mouth agape. Amanda laughed. “I was going to tell you when we got home.”

“Home?” Barba asked, ignoring the bait. “I thought I was stumbling into breaking news here. How long have you been keeping this under wraps?”

Sonny snaked an arm around Amanda’s waist, feeling a sense of pride when she leaned into him, placing a hand on his chest. “A while.”

“Right. Well, I’ll leave you to,” he gestured vaguely with one hand, “Whatever you’re doing. But I’ll remind you that half of the NYPD is here tonight, you might want to try and avoid a public indecency charge.”

Once Barba had turned away, Amanda grinned up at Sonny before bursting out laughing.

“What’s so funny?”

“His face. I didn’t even think that he didn’t know.”

“What’s this about him and Liv?”

“Something she let slip a couple of weeks ago… and I may or may not have confirmed when I went outside to call Sienna earlier,” she looped her arms around his neck. “But I don’t want to talk about them right now.” She brought her lips back up to his, and he eagerly kissed her back.

Fin was at their table when they reached it, a good fifteen minutes later. Barba was sitting between Fin and Liv, looking frustrated; he waved a hand at them as they approached. “I can’t believe everyone knew before me,” he turned to Liv, “I can’t believe _you_ didn’t tell me.”

“We were keepin’ it quiet, Rafael,” Sonny said, pulling out a stool for Amanda before moving into the one next to her. Her hand joined his on the table once they were seated. “Just until we had it all figured out.”

“He means I wanted to keep it quiet; he would’ve screamed it from the rooftops if I’d given him half a chance.”

Sonny shrugged. “I’m just happy… and I might have already told my mother.”

“Yeah, she called,” Amanda squeezed his hand gently before turning back to look at the rest of the team; her family. “But you all know now, and you’re the only people whose opinions matter to me.”

“So now that the whole squad knows, and before the two of you get yourselves, or me, into any more trouble, I expect those disclosure papers on my desk Monday morning.”

“You got it, Captain,” Amanda smiled and turned back to Sonny, leaning up for a brief kiss, cupping his cheek as she did so. He smiled into the kiss, sliding an arm around her waist. Here, with the woman he loved, and their makeshift family, he had never felt more at ease.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> My knowledge of the New York legal system comes from what I’ve picked up watching SVU and the startling number of law firm websites that come up when you google “sex crime penalties New York". (My internet history is looking highly suspicious these days).


End file.
